it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
