I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
