eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
