dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
i think my cat just said my name.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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