they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
