Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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