Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
