some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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