Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize