Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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