I'm laying in your front yard are you home
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
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she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
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I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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