Well douche your snatch and let's go!
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
