either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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