I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
