i think my tv is drunk
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Can I color on your dick again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize