grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
