I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
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I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
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I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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