Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize