please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
