Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
