remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
