I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
