also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
