Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
me + whiskey = a bad person
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
