I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
