i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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