If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
