Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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