Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
