Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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