My friends, they love my intelligence
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
