I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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