When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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