I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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