im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
