its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
