But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
