I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize