I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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