So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
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also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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