It's Friday. Sex?
I love having hate sex.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
