I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize