It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just want to make out with him forever
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
