i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
