Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
