mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize