We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
