How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
