id be glad to
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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