I cockslap morals
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
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she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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