The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Randomize
