Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
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Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
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I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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