Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
