There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize