well I can't set my house on fire every night
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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