You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
