I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
