ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
