You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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