This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
