YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
