I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize