Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
